63 home letters, two brothers in their seventies, and an autistic child

这是《南方周末》所报道的一个关于中国自闭症家庭的故事，记者: 刘怡仙，实习生: 王思雨

主人公叫漆黔生，北京人，是这个自闭症患者的父亲，

The hero’s name is Qi Qiansheng, a Beijing local. He is the father of this autistic man.

他已经于十几年前去世，留下一个早已经成年的自闭症儿子，住在北京一家民营敬老院。

Qi died more than ten years ago, leaving an autistic son who had already grown up and lived in a private nursing home in Beijing.

如果不是有人无意间看到了他写给住在上海的二哥的63封家信，人们也无从得知，这个老人在生前是多么的凄苦，一个人照料一个自闭症儿子那么多年。

If someone hadn’t accidentally seen his 63 home letters to his elder brother living in Shanghai, people wouldn’t know what a miserable life the old man was living before he died. He took care of an autistic son alone for so many years.

漆黔生1937年生，1988年51岁时才结婚，同年和一个24岁的农村姑娘生了一个孩子。

Qi Qiansheng was born in 1937 and married a 24-year-old rural girl at the age of 51 in 1988. In the same year, they had a child.

他是个专科学校的数学老师，戴着很厚的近视眼镜，学校同事都认为，这位老师在数学方面很有天分。

He was a math teacher in a junior college, wearing thick lensed glasses. His school colleagues believe that Qi was very talented in math.

他的妻子在孩子6岁时生病去世了，留下五十多岁的他一个人照顾这个与众不同的儿子。

His wife died of illness when her son was 6, leaving him, a man in his fifties, to take care of their different son alone.

他在给上海的二哥的信中写到:

In his letter to his brother in Shanghai, he wrote:

孩子情绪极端不利。。。整天慌了就大喊大叫，来到街上也好不察觉别人的脸色。重复性地大喊大叫，被一些人视为疯傻，他只要是醒着的，便动个不停。

My child is extremely disturbing… he would yell whenever he panicks… He does not care what others think of him in the street… Shouting repeatedly… is regarded by some people as crazy and stupid… As long as he is awake, he keeps moving.

似此情况，我已经给他办了个残疾人证，或许将来有用。。。我不能肯定我将来会产生什么危急情况，一旦如此，孩子绝对不懂什么叫做营救，其惨则不言而喻。

Because of these, I have applied for a certificate of disability for him, which may be of use in the future… I’m not sure what kind of crisis I will have to face in the future. Once that moment comes, the child will never know what rescue is, and the tragedy will be self-evident.

一个孤寡老人带着一个孤独症孩子的困境。。。

I am trapped in a situation of a lonely old man with an autistic child…

我的这个孩子是孤独症，又名自闭症，不是抑郁症。如果是抑郁症，那就太好了，事实上，绝不是! 他是终生性的。

My child is autistic, also known as autism, not depression. If it’s depression, that’s great, but it’s not! Autism is lifelong.

二哥你是没有后，我有后但是个顶不了用的。。。

Brother, you don’t have an offspring. I have one, but he’s useless…

这些语言都是他写给二哥的家信中的内容。

These words are in his home letters to his second elder brother.

他们家的邻居说，这一家是不开火的，父子俩在菜市场只买馒头不买菜。上街一定是父亲紧紧牵着儿子的手。对此，漆老师是这样和二哥解释的:

Their neighbors said that this family did not cook. The father and son only bought steamed breads, never meat and vegetables in the food market… The father held his son’s hand tightly when they go out. About this, Qi explained to his brother:

他们的东西不能动，一动便掉了魂似的，要是我将一只碗挪动到了另一个地方，他便来回来去地在这两个地方之间迅速移动。。。

Their things can’t be moved, they act like in.fear of their lives when they see their stuff get moved. If I move a bowl to another place, he will come and go, back and forth, move anxiously between the two places…

如果小明也像这样摆弄电和煤气，将非常危险。以至于我不能在厨房做饭，只能买着吃。

If Xiao Ming fiddle with switches and gas container like this, it would be very dangerous. So I can’t cook in the kitchen, I have to buy foods which are already cooked.

他上普通小学毫无用处，那里的老师不会费这个劲去催促自闭症儿童学习。

It’s useless for him to go to ordinary primary school, where teachers don’t bother to urge autistic children to learn.

过去年轻时候，不怎么能体会老人需要照应这么一个浅显的道理，现在算是明白了，但已是处于各种困境、各种危急的包围之中，而毫无办法。

In the past, when I was young, I couldn’t understand the simple truth that the elderly need care. Now I understand it, but I am surrounded by all kinds of difficulties and crises, and there is no way to get out of the situation.

我的这个长得非常美、非常可爱的孩子，其命运之苦也可谓之到了极端。。。而可悲的是，他自己并不知道。

My very beautiful and lovely child, whose fate is extremely painful… Sadly, he doesn’t know about this.

他去年上了两个学期的学。。。可谓这种上学一点用也没有，还是不懂什么叫上学，什么叫考试，上课连书也不打开，和其他小孩也没有什么交往。而所谓老师也者，只是把他甩在一边，不去管，不费那劲。

He went to school for two semesters last year… no use… He doesn’t know what school is and what exams are…didn’t even open his books in class, and no interact with other children. The teacher just left him aside and didn’t bother.

我每日是五点半便起床，七点四十五分把他送到他的座位上，于十一时便接回。

I get up at 5:30 every day, take him to his seat in the classroom at 7:45, and get him home at 11:00.

2011年9月，北京昌平区南口镇做普选登记，怎么敲门也不应，觉得不对劲。后来邻居发现小明几天一直在窗口前大喊大叫，想办法打开了门，发现74岁的漆老师已经去世。

In September 2011, Nankou Town, Changping District, Beijing, where they lived, began to register every family for a general election. The staff knocked their door, no one answered, and they felt something must be wrong in this family. Later, the neighbor saw that Xiao Ming had been shouting in front of the window in the apartment for several days. They tried to open the door, only to find that the 74 year old teacher had died.

漆小明大概知道父亲要死了，或者已经死了几天了，或者只是饿昏了，但是不知道怎么出门寻求救助，只好在窗口喊叫。

Qi Xiaoming, son of the old man, probably knew that his father was dying, or had been dead for a few days, or was just too hungry, and didn’t know how to go out for help, so he decided to shout in front of the window.

此后，这个孤儿小明就一直住在敬老院里，唯一的亲人是伯父，也七十多岁了，住在上海，不可能来看他。10年后，八十多岁的伯父也去世了，他的爱人早已经去世，没有孩子，以遗嘱的形式，把上海市区的房子留给了照顾他的护工。

Since then, the orphan Xiao Ming has been living in the nursing home. His only relative was his uncle, who was also in his seventies and lived alone in Shanghai. It was impossible for the uncle to visit the autistic nephew. Ten years later, the old uncle in his eighties also died. His wife had already died and they had no children. The old man left the house in downtown Shanghai to the care workers who took care of him in.his will.

上海当地公证员为了找到这位老人可能的遗产继承人，委托整理师找到了这63封家信，拼凑出北京这一家子的凄苦人生。

In order to find the possible heir to the old man’s estate, the local notary in Shanghai entrusted an arranger to sort out his belongings, and found the 63 home letters which piece together the miserable life of the family in Beijing.

公证员委托北京的志愿者去看望这个住在敬老院里的中年人小明，因为他现在每个月都能领取残疾人补助，所以不能继承伯父的遗产。

The notary commissioned a volunteer in Beijing to visit Xiao Ming, now a middle-aged man who lives in the nursing home. Because he, as a certified disabled man, can receive allowance from the government every month, he can’t receive inheritance of his uncle.

上海的公证员为了帮助小明，决定将这些信件在一个咖啡厅展出，让自闭症家庭的孤独与苦楚被人看见，同时通过公益筹款改善小明在北京敬老院里的生活。

In order to help Xiao Ming, the notary in Shanghai decided to display these letters in a cafe, so that the loneliness and suffering of autistic families can be seen, and improve Xiao Ming’s life in Beijing nursing home through public welfare fund-raising.

这家位于上海莘庄的42咖啡厅可以为自闭症患者提供实习和就业。

This 42 cafe in Xinzhuang, Shanghai can provide internships and employment for people with autism.

在这里，有一张伯父生前的书桌，玻璃下压着一封当年未发出给北京老弟的回信，还有一张漆小明的周岁照，的确长得”惊人的美”，就如同他的父亲漆黔生当年和二哥介绍的一样。

Here, there is an uncle’s desk. Under the glass, there is a reply letter that was suposed to be sent to his brother in Beijing, and a picture of Qi Xiaoming when he was a year old. He really looks “amazing beautiful” on the photo, just as his father Qi Qiansheng described in letter to brother.

上面这个故事来自于《南方周末》手机app上的内容，希望这种转述没有侵权。山水学堂将这个故事翻译成了英语，介绍给世界各地，希望有更多人对中国的这个群体提供帮助。

The above story is from the content on the mobile app of Southern Weekend. I hope this kind of narration does not infringe. inMountains School translated this story into English and introduced it to all over the world. I hope more people will help this group in China.

我注意到，小明这个自闭症患者的父亲听上去也是一个不太喜欢社交的人，44岁才决定要结婚生子，51岁才找到一个老婆，是个可以做他女儿的农村姑娘，生了个孩子。他自己的一生似乎也受到了孤独症的影响。

I noticed that Xiao Ming, the father of autistic man, sounds like a person who doesn’t like social life. He decided to get married and have children at the age of 44 and found a wife at the age of 51, who was a much younger rural girl. They had a child. His own life seems to be affected by autism.

小明的上海伯父是没有后人的，他是不是个开朗自信的人，我们无从得知。

Xiao Ming’s uncle in Shanghai had no descendants. We don’t know whether or not he was a cheerful and confident person.

如果我是南周的记者，我一定会尝试去找一找小明的母亲和伯父的一些资料。

If I were a reporter from Southern Weekends, I would try to dig out information about Xiao Ming’s mother and uncle.